A sexuality expert caused a stir with her belief that parents should ask for a baby’s permission before changing their diaper.
As you might expect, babies can’t speak yet. But Deanne Carson believes babies can still communicate non-verbally to let parents know if they’re okay with a diaper change. She shared this opinion on ABC News in 2018, and it sparked a lot of debate.
Deanne suggested parents should ask, “Is it okay if I change your diaper?” before doing so.
“Of course, the baby isn’t going to respond ‘yes, Mum, that sounds great,'” Deanne admitted. “But if you leave a space, wait for body language, and make eye contact, you’re showing the child that their response matters.”
She didn’t explain what parents should do if the baby’s body language indicates they don’t want to be changed. That would leave the baby in a dirty diaper until they “consent,” which doesn’t seem like a good option for anyone.
Naturally, parents had a lot to say about this. Many didn’t agree with her views.
One person posted on Twitter, “Either she’s never had to wrestle a toddler for a diaper change, or worse, she just left her kid in a dirty diaper until they were ready to say yes.” Another person called the idea “seemingly absurd.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” one parent said. “A child depends on their parent for care, including hygiene! Especially babies and toddlers.”
While some parents agreed that consent is important, they thought Deanne’s suggestion was a step too far.
“I’ve never been so confused in my life. Teaching children consent is 100% important, but come on,” someone said.
A couple of years later, a popular childcare chain seemed to support Deanne’s idea. They advised parents to ask for their child’s cooperation when changing diapers.
“Ask for your baby’s help, talk them through what you’re doing, and encourage them to use their senses,” said staff from Only About Children centers. As toddlers get more active, they might want to stand up for their diaper change, so parents should ask for cooperation and encourage independence, like asking them to remove the diaper or wipe themselves.
