There seems to be a surprising reason why many straight men cheat on their wives with other men. Jana Hocking, a columnist, recently explored this topic after hearing from followers on social media. Many of these men, who identify as straight, have secretly had sexual experiences with other men while hiding it from their wives or girlfriends.
Through conversations with her followers, Hocking uncovered a common pattern. Men were secretly hooking up with other men—sometimes colleagues, friends, or even strangers—without their partners knowing. One story she shared involved a man who seemed to be the ultimate heterosexual – athletic and macho – yet admitted to receiving oral sex from another man at a wedding, without remorse.
Intrigued by the number of similar stories, Hocking reached out to the women involved. These women were often shocked and devastated after discovering their partners had been cheating with men.
One woman, Sophie, found a charge on her boyfriend’s bank statement for a gay bar. After confronting him, Sophie uncovered explicit Snapchat messages between her boyfriend and another man. While he admitted to experimenting with his sexuality, Sophie felt betrayed not just by his actions, but by the lies he had kept from her.
Another woman, Laura, discovered her husband’s secret after finding a gay dating site on his laptop. When she asked him about it, he denied any physical involvement with men. This revelation left her questioning her relationship, leading her to seek therapy to deal with the emotional pain.
For many of these women, the pain wasn’t about the sexuality of their partners, but about the deception and secrecy. Hocking spoke with a therapist who explained that societal pressures often force men to hide their true selves, leading to actions that hurt their partners.
In a world where people are often afraid to live honestly, Hocking highlights the need for greater acceptance so that everyone feels safe to explore their identities.