During lockdown, I was on my own, trying to heal from yet another heartbreak caused by an emotionally unavailable guy. I spent my time binge-watching Yellowstone, thinking, “Beth would never deal with this.” I cried over a man who, now that I look back, wasn’t worth my tears.
Then, an older, shorter man came into my life. I wasn’t worried because he wasn’t my type at all. I thought I’d be safe from getting hurt again. But, unexpectedly, I caught feelings for him.
When I got COVID, he dropped food packages at my door. After I recovered, he registered to be my “bubble buddy” — remember when that was a thing? We spent a night drinking martinis and eating sushi, and it turned out to be one of the best nights I had during that time.
I never expected to fall for him. He wasn’t the tall, handsome guy I usually went for, but something about him—his deep voice, his strong presence, and the way he laughed—had me hooked.
After lockdown, life got busy, and we went our separate ways. But when we do meet, it’s always nice. It made me think about celebrities like Lana Del Rey, Selena Gomez, and Ariana Grande, who get criticized for dating men who aren’t “Hollywood handsome.”
We often judge people’s relationships based on looks, but I’ve realized that the most good-looking men can sometimes have nothing else to offer. I once dated a model who was beautiful but boring. I realized I needed a man with depth, humor, and wisdom, not just good looks.
It’s about emotional connection and reliability. I’ve found that men who are less focused on their looks make me feel secure and loved. Why do we glorify looks when real love is about deeper qualities?
Take Adam Driver, for example. He’s not conventionally handsome, but his confidence and presence are magnetic. Confidence matters more than looks.
Next time someone questions your choice of partner, remember: real love is about the unseen qualities. It’s the guy who brings you food when you’re sick, not the one showing off on Instagram.
